What?

A giant f****** wolf, basically.

Story:

Fenrir was kept in the fieldsof Asgard, and he grew bigger and bigger (that’s what she sai-…I’ll show myself the door) with each passing day. Scared of this progression, the gods Urd, Skuld and Verdandi warned Odin that one day Fenrir will grow big enough to kill him. Not wanting to spill Fenrir‘s evil blood, the gods set out on a quest to figure out how to bind him. They used Leyding to bind Fenrir, but Fenrir was too big and snapped the bind with his first kick. Next they used Dromi, which was twice as strong as Leyding. Again, Fenrir destroyed the bind. So, Odin told the gods to go to Svartalfheim, to find the dwarves and to ask for their help. The dwarves agreed to help (after being given a buttload of gold, of course). They made a fetter which was as smooth as silk, called Gleipnir. The magic recipe of the bind contained: the sound of a cat’s footfall, the breath of a fish, sinews of a bear, the roots of a mountain, the beard of a lady and a bird’s spittle. All of which are impossible items, unless you are a very masculine lady, with lots of testosterone boosters. Even then, it’s safe to say that you’d probably struggle growing a carpet on your face. But, the Guinness™ book of world records (2010 version) taught me a harsh lesson on humility, and to not judge a lady by the stubble on her chin. The Gods took the bind and told Fenrir to allow them to bind him. Fenrir, initially unsure of allowing them to use magic on him, agreed eventually on one condition. One of the gods had to place their hand inside Fenrir’s mouth, while they bind him. The god of courage, Tyr (who was a friend of Fenrir‘s for many years) volunteered. Fenrir could not escape the bind, and the gods had successfully captured the beast. However, Tyr lost his hand in the process (say goodbye to your pinkies and perkies, Tyr!). When Ragnarok will take place, it’s written (but, as of today not confirmed on TMZ™) Fenrir will snap his bind and then devour Odin whole, killing him in the process. It’s also written that the children of Fenrir, Sköll and Hati, will devour the sun and the moon. All that there’s left to say is good afternoon, good evening and good night. Forever (maybe, dunno yet haven’t read the rest).

Pro Tip:

Woof woof bark bark. Meow (?) *ripping noises* *bones crunching* *screeching* *squelching* *BUUURRRP* Lesson learned. Keep the kitties away from this K–9.